i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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