I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
