this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
