My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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