Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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