In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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