i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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