Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
