My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
