I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
