I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
