TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
