I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
