feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I need water and some morals
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
