Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
