I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
