jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
