Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
