My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
