I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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