whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
