bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
