Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
