she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
