why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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