'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
