I look better un-naked...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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