no. you can't hotbox the world.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
