i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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