Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
