I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
