I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
