hell yes lets make some ravioli
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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