a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
