My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
my liver is dry heaving
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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