He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am spending my child support on dildos
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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