After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
