I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
