well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
