I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
