is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize