I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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