Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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