and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
