I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
