one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize
