he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
