is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
