i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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