Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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