At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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