i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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