hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
True strength comes from lack of pants
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize