i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
