butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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