well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
