i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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