she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
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