i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
