I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize