Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
