We're facebook friends in real life
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
