Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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