I'm drive I can fine osifer
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
