he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
